As I was putting dishes away, I discovered what I THOUGHT was burnt junk from the oven. Chip says it looks like rat poop. He cackles as I freak out. Making me freak out is one of his favorite past times, so I did not think much of it.
Fast forward... we are watching the Cavs game and in strolls a mouse, the size of a rat or a cat. Chaos ensues. Some of the most memorable scenes from the evening;
-Rat-Cat-Mouse runs into a wall as we try to trap him, he almost knocks himself out.
-I insist on standing in a storage container located in the middle of the kitchen to protect my feet from scurrying rat-cat-mouse.
-Chip tells me to stop screaming in agony, someone may call the cops. GOOD then maybe the cops will shoot this freak of nature.
-I am happy we bought a broom with an extendable handle. Great for poking at things that may or may not harbor said Rat-Cat-Mouse.
-I tell Chip if I see that thing, I will kill it with the fireplace poker and he will have to clean up the blood & guts.... I don't do rat guts. Chip does not agree with these rules. He says no one told me to make a Rat-Cat-Mouse skewer, so I was on my own. (Idle threat anyway, no way I am getting that close to the beast.)
-I was so afraid of an attack this morning; I drank my coffee at 5:30 am in the dark, in the middle of the driveway, where there is no visible Rat-Cat-Mouse.
Lucky for us, our house does not have food laying around for easy access and our garbage cans are very well sealed. The Rat-Cat-Mouse will eventually starve..... BUT I AM HOPING IT IS NOT THERE WHEN I GET HOME.
If you see me on your doorstep with a pillow and an overnight bag. Please let me in.
**I apologize for the animal cruelty in this post.... but this thing is HUGE! No pictures accompany this post. My camera was too close to rat-cat-mouse hiding places.
POST SCRIPT: I called my dad this morning and woke him up with the story. He laughed. He thought it was hilarious we have a new "pet". Not funny. I am going to toliet paper his house.
3 comments:
Your fans demand pictures!
You crack me up! Pictures are a must, especially if you do toilet paper your Dad's house!
I love pet rats. Once my mom got one from the pet store. Little did she know it was pregnant when we got it and a about a month later it had a dozen babies. Thinking back on it, they were pretty gross. Nothing cute about a baby rat.
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